Mom

Today is the year mark for Mom's death. I haven't been consumed with it or counting down the days, but today I felt it a little.

You know what I thought about the most today--a regret. I regretted that I didn't go to her wedding when she got remarried. Our family was very busy; Kip was working; it was too expensive. There were reasons and Mom said point blank that it was okay that I didn't come. But Mom always said that everything was okay even if it wasn't. So today I kept thinking, "Was it? Or did it really hurt her feelings that I didn't come?" And even if it didn't, I should have made more effort for her. She would have made more effort for me. I can't now change the unchangeable, but I hope I can carry that little lesson with me into the future. I hope that sometimes (sometimes) despite convenience or expense I can be there for people on their special days and in their special hours. It won't always be possible, so I hope I can do a little better job grabbing the chances when they come.